Welcome to Hell!

Yes, we little demons have gotten onto the Internet, like everyone else! But, computers don't last too long down here with the heat, and all. We've burned up four modems in the past two weeks. We're getting a lot of you computer nurds, though, especially those of you who've been surfin' the net for those dirty pictures. Thank badness that judge threw out those fundies' law that would have stopped it. Now, we'll get even more of you guys!

You thought you'd been good?
You thought you hadn't broken all that many rules?
You hadn't beaten your spouse?
You were a nice person, most of the time?


There are a lot naughtier persons than you in heaven!
Too bad you forgot --
"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved."

Oh, well. Too late, now!

Looks pretty bad, doesn't it?

(Of course, if you ain't dead yet, you can get another chance!)
Want another chance? Click here:
Another Chance!

Oh, do we love these little ribbon things! Most people think they look cute, so they put them on their web pages. Little do they know that one of our guys down here invented 'em! But, what the hell, right?

1997 by Paul G. Donelson
All unauthorized publication or reproduction of materials
in the www.umcs.org directories is strictly prohibited.